So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
