I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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