pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
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Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
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it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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