just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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