he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
