honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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