9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Operation Purity has been aborted
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
