Don't you send me to vm
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
