I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he fucked my hip out of place.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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