you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
