dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
