Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
