Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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