did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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