Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
