just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.