i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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