i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
