my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
