You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
