Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
