'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
