living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm passing your future prison.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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