Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
