Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
