I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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