the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
