Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
