So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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