my vag is so smooth its legendary
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
