Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
