I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
