i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
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