arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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