dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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