quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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