i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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