My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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