You really coming over, don't trick.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
