After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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