maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize