that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Come see our sink grown plant.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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