hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
