Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
