Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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