I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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