I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
