Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
