Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
