My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
