Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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