He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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