Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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