In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
