remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
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i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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