Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I love you. Go after that dick
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
