i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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