I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
