I'm really into asian looking animals
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
