nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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