what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
