I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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